What Does It Mean to Come Back to Yourself?
There’s a moment that can happen in midlife when you look around at your life — the calendar, the responsibilities, the errands, the messages, the laundry basket that appears to have developed ambition — and think:
How is everything so full… and yet I still feel like something’s missing?
It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it?
Because from the outside, life may look busy, productive, and even “fine.” Things are getting done. People are being cared for. The house is mostly functioning. The appointments are on the calendar. Dinner happens, even if occasionally it’s less “beautifully prepared meal” and more “what can I assemble in seven minutes without losing the will to live?”
And yet, underneath all of that doing, there can be this quiet little whisper:
But does this life feel like me?
That’s the question I’ve been thinking about this month.
As we move through June and our theme of Come Back to Yourself This Summer, I keep coming back to this idea of a summer homecoming. Not the dramatic kind. Not the “sell everything, move to a cottage, and take up watercolor painting by Tuesday” kind — although I’m not going to pretend that doesn’t sound appealing some days.
I mean the gentler kind.
The kind where you begin to notice what feels nourishing again.
What feels beautiful.
What feels like peace.
What feels like joy.
What feels like your own life, not just a schedule you’re trying to survive.
Because so many women in midlife are living very full lives. But full doesn’t always mean fulfilling. Busy doesn’t always mean meaningful. Productive doesn’t always mean peaceful.
And summer, with her longer days and softer evenings, has a way of inviting us to ask better questions.
Not, “How can I do more?”
But, “How do I want to feel inside my own life?”
Stop Rushing Through the Moments You Actually Want to Enjoy
This one sounds so simple, but goodness, it can be hard.
How often do we rush through the very things we say we want more of?
We drink the tea while answering messages.
We eat the meal while standing at the counter.
We go for the walk but spend the whole time mentally reorganizing the pantry.
We sit outside but scroll through our phones.
We get into bed and instead of resting, we start reviewing everything we didn’t get done.
Summer invites us to slow down enough to actually inhabit the moment we’re in.
That doesn’t mean every day becomes peaceful and poetic. Real life still includes traffic, bills, sticky kitchen counters, and someone asking “what’s for dinner?” approximately four minutes after lunch.
But you can choose one moment a day to stop rushing through.
- Drink your tea outside and actually taste it.
- Eat lunch sitting down.
- Walk without turning it into a performance.
- Listen to the birds.
- Watch the evening light.
- Let one moment be enough.
Sometimes creating a summer that feels more like you begins by simply being present for the life you’re already living.
Create One Simple Summer Ritual
A ritual doesn’t have to be fancy.
It doesn’t require a special outfit, a perfectly styled tray, or a candle with a name like “Moonlit Coastal Serenity” — though I do love a good candle name. The more dramatic, the better.
A ritual is simply a repeated moment that carries meaning.
It’s something that brings you back to yourself.
- Maybe it’s morning tea outside before the day begins.
- Maybe it’s an evening walk after dinner.
- Maybe it’s fresh flowers on the table every Friday.
- Maybe it’s reading a few pages before bed.
- Maybe it’s music while you cook.
- Maybe it’s a Sunday afternoon reset where you tidy, plan, breathe, and get yourself ready for the week without turning it into a military operation.
Rituals are powerful because they give your nervous system a sense of rhythm and safety. When life feels busy or uncertain, small repeated moments can help you feel grounded again.
And in midlife, that matters.
Our bodies and minds often don’t respond well to constant rushing, overstimulation, and “go, go, go” living. We need cues that say, “You can slow down now. You can breathe. You’re allowed to be here.”
So choose one simple summer ritual.
Not twelve.
One.
Let it be easy enough that you’ll actually do it and meaningful enough that it feels like a small gift to yourself.
Let Joy Be Ordinary Again
Somewhere along the way, many of us started treating joy like a luxury.
Something for vacations.
Something for special occasions.
Something we’ll get to after everything else is finished.
But everything else has a terrible habit of never being finished.
There’s always another load of laundry. Another email. Another appointment. Another thing that needs to be handled, wiped, paid, planned, fixed, remembered, or found. Why is someone always looking for something?
So if we wait until life is perfectly tidy before we allow joy, we may be waiting a very long time.
Joy doesn’t have to be grand to count.
It can be ordinary.
- A peach that tastes like summer.
- A walk in the warm evening air.
- A song from years ago that makes you smile.
- A pretty dress.
- A good book.
- A cup of tea in your favorite mug.
- A chat with a friend.
- A piece of jewelry that makes you feel a little more put together, even if your day is held together with hope and dry shampoo.
- Joy is part of wellbeing.
Moments of beauty, laughter, pleasure, and connection can help soften stress and remind the body that life isn’t only about responsibility. They help us feel more alive, more connected, and more like ourselves.
This summer, ask yourself:
What small joy can I let back in?
Then let it in without making it earn its keep.
Notice What No Longer Fits
Midlife has a way of making certain things feel a little tighter.
And I don’t just mean jeans, although let’s be honest, that conversation deserves its own support group.
I mean roles, expectations, patterns, habits, and ways of living that used to feel normal but now feel heavy.
- Maybe saying yes to everything no longer fits.
- Maybe constantly being available no longer fits.
- Maybe pushing through exhaustion no longer fits.
- Maybe criticizing your body no longer fits.
- Maybe trying to be who everyone else expects you to be no longer fits.
This isn’t about becoming harsh or suddenly changing everything overnight.
It’s about becoming honest.
There’s a beautiful freedom in realizing that not everything has to come with you into the next season of life.
Some things can be released gently.
- You can say, “That served me once, but it doesn’t support me now.”
- You can outgrow the need to prove yourself.
- You can outgrow overexplaining.
- You can outgrow guilt-driven yeses.
- You can outgrow the version of yourself who thought rest had to be earned.
That doesn’t mean life becomes perfect. It simply means you begin making choices that fit who you are becoming now.
And that’s a powerful part of creating a summer that feels more like you.
Give Your Body a Voice in the Conversation
A summer that feels more like you isn’t only about your calendar or your mindset.
It’s also about your body.
Because your body is part of your life, not an inconvenience you drag along while trying to get everything done.
And in midlife, the body often becomes a little louder.
Energy shifts. Sleep changes. Stress feels different. Digestion, mood, cravings, weight, and motivation may not respond the way they once did.
It’s easy to get frustrated and ask,
But a softer and more useful question might be:
What is my body asking for right now?
- Maybe she’s asking for hydration.
- Maybe she’s asking for steadier meals.
- Maybe she’s asking for protein at breakfast instead of running on coffee and good intentions.
- Maybe she’s asking for more strength, more stretching, more sleep, more calm, more laughter, or fewer evenings spent staring at screens until your brain feels like a browser with 38 tabs open.
This doesn’t mean ignoring symptoms or brushing things off. If something feels concerning, persistent, or unusual, it’s always wise to seek proper professional support.
But it does mean we can begin listening with curiosity instead of criticism.
Your body isn’t trying to ruin your summer.
She’s trying to communicate.
This season, let your body be part of the planning.
Not as a project to fix.
As a wise companion to support.
Make Space for Beauty
Beauty is underrated as a form of nourishment.
And no, I don’t mean perfection.
I don’t mean a spotless home, a flawless outfit, or a garden that looks like it was personally arranged by a magazine editor.
I mean the simple kind of beauty that makes you exhale.
- Flowers in a jar.
- A colorful salad.
- A pretty notebook.
- A peaceful corner.
- A clean kitchen counter, even if the rest of the house is staging a rebellion.
- A favorite bracelet.
- A summer tablecloth.
- A walk somewhere green.
- A candle at dinner.
- A few minutes watching the sunset.
Beauty helps us pause. It interrupts the rush. It reminds us to notice.
And for many women, beauty is one of the first things we stop making room for when life gets busy.
We become practical.
Efficient.
Focused.
Responsible.
All good things, of course. But we also need softness. Color. Delight. Texture. Music. Nature. Lovely little reminders that life is more than tasks.
So this summer, ask yourself:
Where can I add a little beauty to the ordinary?
It doesn’t have to cost much.
It just has to make you feel present.
Choose One Gentle Summer Commitment
Here’s where we bring it all together.
A summer that feels more like you doesn’t require a dramatic life overhaul.
It begins with one gentle commitment.
Not a punishing goal.
Not a rigid plan.
Not a “new me by Monday” declaration.
A commitment that feels kind, honest, and doable.
Maybe your commitment is:
- This summer, I’m choosing more peace.
- This summer, I’m reconnecting with joy.
- This summer, I’m listening to my body.
- This summer, I’m creating more breathing room.
- This summer, I’m practicing saying no without writing a full apology essay.
- This summer, I’m allowing myself to enjoy my life now.
- This summer, I’m making space for the woman I’m becoming.
Once you choose your commitment, ask:
What’s one small step I can take this week?
That’s all.
One step.
Because small choices, repeated gently, can shift the way a season feels.
A Summer That Feels Like You
Creating a summer that feels more like you isn’t about doing everything perfectly.
It’s not about planning the perfect vacation, creating a flawless routine, eating every meal outside, or transforming your life into a Pinterest board.
- It’s about presence.
- It’s about choosing moments that feel nourishing.
- It’s about noticing where you’ve been rushing.
- It’s about listening to your body.
- It’s about letting joy be ordinary.
- It’s about releasing what no longer fits.
- It’s about remembering that your life is not just something to manage.
- It’s something to live.
So maybe this summer, you don’t need to add more.
Maybe you need to return.
- To your joy.
- To your body.
- To your needs.
- To your voice.
- To your rhythms.
- To your own life.
And maybe the question isn’t, “How can I make this summer impressive?”
Maybe the better question is:
How can I make this summer feel more like me?
Start there.
Start small.
Start gently.
And let this season become a quiet homecoming.
💜 A Gentle Invitation
To support you this month, I created a free guide called Come Back to Yourself This Summer: A Gentle Midlife Reflection Guide to Reconnect With Your Joy, Your Needs, Your Body & the Woman You’re Becoming.
Inside, you’ll find thoughtful prompts and simple practices to help you reflect on what brings you joy now, what you truly need more of, what your body may be asking for, and what kind of summer you want to create.
This isn’t about pressure or perfection.
It’s a soft invitation to return to yourself — one honest question, one small joy, and one gentle choice at a time.
👉Download your free guide here. 👈
Come Join Us This June
June is here… and it’s the perfect time to pause, breathe, and gently come back to yourself.
If you’ve been feeling a little tired, stretched thin, disconnected, or like you’ve spent so much time caring for everyone else that your own joy, needs, and rhythms have slipped to the bottom of the list…
This month inside the Energized Healthy Women’s Club is for you. 💜
And YOU’RE invited to join us.
Inside the group this month, we’re focusing on simple, supportive ways to feel more present, peaceful, energized, and connected — without pressure, perfection, or adding more to your already-full plate.
This isn’t about starting over.
It’s not about fixing yourself.
And it’s definitely not about creating another overwhelming wellness checklist. Haven’t we all had enough of those? 😄
It’s about gently remembering that you matter too.
Your joy matters.
Your needs matter.
Your body deserves kindness.
Your life is still unfolding beautifully.
If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, let this be your gentle reminder:
You don’t have to change everything all at once.
You can simply begin where you are.
That’s the beauty of this approach — small, meaningful shifts that help you feel more like yourself again.
And if you’d love a little encouragement, gentle accountability, and a group of women who truly understand what midlife can feel like…
We would absolutely love to welcome you. 💜
👉 Join us inside the Energized Healthy Women’s Club here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/energized.healthy.women.
